We have had a wonderful week! Ronnie has been off chemo for the past 10 days and the Revlimid for a week. We have been outside on a few of these beautiful spring like days! Ronnie has felt better this week than he has in a long while! We managed (with the help of our grandson Lane) to get up a lot of leaves since Saturday. I am talking layers of leaves that have been on the ground since the fall. Maybe now the grass will show when it begins to green up!
Ronnie went back for chemo and saw the doctor this morning. Dr. Aggarwal said he is doing well. The simple fact he is feeling better means the cancer must be retreating! He will do another 24 hr urine test after this round of chemo is completed. This test will show the progress of his treatment. He will then have just one more cycle of chemo before sending him to Augusta for a consultation for the stem cell transplant! That is if the urine test comes back and shows him in remission!! We ask for your continued prayers that will happen!
The doctor again reminded him the bone marrow transplant (stem cell) will not be a cure but can prolong his life. He said the average time for M.M. patients used to be around three years but now it is more common to see people live eight years! His over all health will have to meet certain criteria because the treatment is very harsh on the body!
Ronnie has always struggled with his blood sugar. He has a problem now with it bottoming out. When this happens he wants to eat everything in sight. The first of every week it is really high because of the steroids he takes on Monday. He goes from highs to lows! I think we need to go to nutrition classes to learn how to better handle this. When I mentioned it to the PA there, she scoffed off the idea since he has been a diabetic for so many years..but if you can not maintain near normal levels , then I don't see how it could hurt! Many things have changed since the eighties when he went through those classes! We are hoping they can reduce his insulin also. The AC1 will tell the story !
He sees the doctor next week at the diabetes clinic so I hope she will take his cancer treatment into consideration with his diabetes treatment. I want him to be as healthy as possible especially with the bone marrow transplant drawing close! Diet and gentle exercise! The doctor told him walking is good but not to lift anything heavier than 5 lbs and cautioned him his bones are weak and can be broken easily. Walking will strengthen them of course but having the energy with the chemo and other drugs will make it tough! He is off his cane now, I am happy to report. He still has a limp that comes from a compression fracture in his back.
He is tired today, back in the recliner/chemo cycle ! He gets the bone treatment Monday if his kidney function test he had today comes back ok. He has a right to be tired for another reason. We will probably be GREAT-grandparents with in a month! Our oldest grand daughter Ashley is due the first of April but according to what the doctor told her today, it may not be that long! We have are looking forward to this new segment of our life! Back in the fall there was so much uncertainty when we were told he had cancer, he was really afraid he might not make it to see this little one! We have a grand baby learning to walk and a great-one almost here! Thank you Lord!
We passed the sign on a church on 257 coming home today. It said, "every day is a gift , so open it with prayer".. that is so true and such good advice! I know many of you saw the cross, our little grandson Ty made for me! He went in and got his papa to hammer one "big" nail in and he did the rest! Ronnie said he had no idea what he was doing! I was on the phone going through the long ritual of ordering his medicine. I had to tell Ty I would come out when I finished to see what he had made for me. How sweet and special are such times! I know as parents we often did not take the time to appreciate the things our own kids "made" for us! That is what is great about being grandparents!! Having this illness sure has changed his perspective on life as well as my own! It is always easier to see the bad instead of the good in all things... now we try to see the good and we know God will take care of the rest!!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
A Great Day!
Ronnie is on his chemo break until next Thursday!! We went Monday and he does not go back until Thursday of next week! His plaetlets and other blood work was still good , praise God! We had lunch yesterday with our Monday night crowd. It was so much fun to laugh and carry on like we always do!! What some crazy fun people to be with! We kidded him because he got in this conversation with a couple he met in KFC ! No, he didn't know them but now he does!! He learned they had recently moved here . He surmised maybe they were missing friends they left back in Florida. Maybe they can join us next time!!
We also had a new door installed this week in our master bath to make it easier for him to make those frequent nightly trips! When you take two water pills a day they become that way!! A friend of ours installed a door at the other end of our bathroom meaning all he has to do it walk a few steps to get there! Also should he ever have to use the walker again , it will go through this door! It looks now as if it has always been there! He did a great job and didn't charge nearly what he should have to do it!
He is very tired tonight but we had a long but enjoyable day! We had some banking business to take care of in Milledgville . It was good to see some people we have met up that way that we now consider friends! God has worked so many things out in our life, it is unreal!
We went to Macon after that to visit a friend who has had a lengthy hospital stay. We eat at Logans and brought one plate home! Love it when you can make two meals from one! We checked out some lap tops at Best Buy. With the long hospital stay looming , we have to have access to our banking accounts etc. Kelly swears all I want to do is be able to keep up with Facebook. True but I am lost without my computer when it comes to everything!
We had a pretty busy day and he was fading fast well before we got through. We had talked about a mini beach trip and visiting our niece down that way but after today, he decided we needed to postpone it until his next chemo break! When he feels better for a while, it is easy to forget he is sick! It just felt so good today to not think about the "monster" ! When we get him in remission and past the transplant, I pray we will have many more times like today!
We so appreciate everyone's prayers and thoughts! Just as the days are warming up and the sun is shining through, it seems so in our life! The clouds are parting and the sun is coming through! We can feel the warmth of love from family , friends and most of all from a God that loves us!!
We also had a new door installed this week in our master bath to make it easier for him to make those frequent nightly trips! When you take two water pills a day they become that way!! A friend of ours installed a door at the other end of our bathroom meaning all he has to do it walk a few steps to get there! Also should he ever have to use the walker again , it will go through this door! It looks now as if it has always been there! He did a great job and didn't charge nearly what he should have to do it!
He is very tired tonight but we had a long but enjoyable day! We had some banking business to take care of in Milledgville . It was good to see some people we have met up that way that we now consider friends! God has worked so many things out in our life, it is unreal!
We went to Macon after that to visit a friend who has had a lengthy hospital stay. We eat at Logans and brought one plate home! Love it when you can make two meals from one! We checked out some lap tops at Best Buy. With the long hospital stay looming , we have to have access to our banking accounts etc. Kelly swears all I want to do is be able to keep up with Facebook. True but I am lost without my computer when it comes to everything!
We had a pretty busy day and he was fading fast well before we got through. We had talked about a mini beach trip and visiting our niece down that way but after today, he decided we needed to postpone it until his next chemo break! When he feels better for a while, it is easy to forget he is sick! It just felt so good today to not think about the "monster" ! When we get him in remission and past the transplant, I pray we will have many more times like today!
We so appreciate everyone's prayers and thoughts! Just as the days are warming up and the sun is shining through, it seems so in our life! The clouds are parting and the sun is coming through! We can feel the warmth of love from family , friends and most of all from a God that loves us!!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Rants and Raves of a Mad Woman!!
Back to chemo today. It amazes me how many people have cancer! It is sort of like buying a car. You never notice how many of them are on the road until you get one! This is a bit more to deal with than realizing you have bought a vehicle that has at least 25 twins in your town! I can't understand why the causes for this horrible disease can not be put in black and white better. Research seems to have more theories than facts for the true causes. I know a sweet lady who has breast cancer and so does her twin sister!
If the government is going to get all in your business about everything why have they not found the real causes of cancer! I know the older you live the more likely you are to have it. There is a young woman in Dublin who is the step mom of a friend of our grand daughters who is very sick with cancer.She has a young child! How do you explain why kids like Summer and teens like Leah get it??? No one ever said life was fair... it sure isn't and especially so when you are a kid and have to deal with this stuff! God bless all the sick kids and their parents who are dealing with the big C! I just can not imagine trying to explain this illness to a child! I know God sees them through and we will never understand why this side of heaven! God alone knows the answers and He thought it best we not understand now and probably for good reason!
He went to his treatment today. I had a chiropractor visit while he finished up. He wanted some Cloverleaf after wards though he is not really suppose to eat from a buffet. We had some errands to run but soon after eating he was wiped out and ready for his recliner! I mean he can seem like he feels so well and then boom, it is like a balloon that is suddenly deflated!!
It is unreal to me he could take chemo and then enjoy food... this is different from what I thought it would be! I think it has a lot to do with the type chemo you get?? Don't know but he still has his appetite! Maybe some of the "swelling" is due to the buffet and recliner??? Well as long as you are on steroids you can always blame them!! I am thankful he still has his appetite. In the beginning he did lose weight and he may later but for now he is still loving his food! I do too but this blog is not about me! ha ha
I had to go back to S.S. office to take a form to them. I filled out all the necessary paperwork weeks ago. I decided to call and check on the status though truthfully I wasn't expecting much this early in the game. The answer I got was the process was being held up because they did not have a form to request his records??? I could have sworn I remembered us doing this form but never mind, if they didn't have it no need to discuss it! I mean they don't call and say ," we need this form and for some reason we neglected to put it in the packet we sent out to you." No, they let the paperwork sit for weeks on someone's desk and then when YOU call, you discover not one thing has been accomplished because they don't have one form... "We need form 124 LKS before we can go any further Mam.." (not really the right number but you know what I mean)... well geez what were they going to do... let it sit there until the ink was faded and never let you know? I know they have many to process and my preference would have been to file it online for him. However he managed to get on the phone to ask one question and then the S.S. office began the process. I have heard if you get them ALL the paperwork and they don't have to track it down it goes much better. Too late now, we are now at their mercy.
Ronnie and I were talking about how dangerous the Social Security location is on Hillcrest. He said " yeah, they probably put it here hoping someone would come over the top of the hill when you went to turn and take you out before you can get inside to apply for benefits!"... ha ha that is pretty funny!!I am not dishing on anyone who works for S.S. but our government is terrible inept at paperwork! I know the employees don't have a choice about protocol..it is already in place and it takes 500 sheets of paper to do what 5 could accomplish! We could probably kill a big portion of the national debt if paperwork could really be reduced! Then they send you 10 pages in the mail to tell you, "this is part of our PAPERWORK REDUCTION ACT!! I can not imagine when you have to wait for paperwork to arrive giving you permission to see a doctor! Ok, enough of that , I will have someone mad at me!!
The doctor gave him something to help him rest at night so we will see how that goes..other than him being so tired all day even before the chemo, he has had a pretty good day! His blood sugar has been bottoming out quite a bit lately. He says God is healing his diabetes and I pray that is true.I fear it maybe getting worse! Ok, so today call me Mrs. Doubting Thomas!!
Today was more normal ,we actually were sort of being a bit ill with each other this afternoon. " Why did you leave the door open??" .. I didn't , YOU left it open, old man!! ha ha We are thankful for every day that is relatively normal. I know we are just beginners and have a ways to go to remission graduation!! Thank you Lord for this day. God is good , ALL the time!
If the government is going to get all in your business about everything why have they not found the real causes of cancer! I know the older you live the more likely you are to have it. There is a young woman in Dublin who is the step mom of a friend of our grand daughters who is very sick with cancer.She has a young child! How do you explain why kids like Summer and teens like Leah get it??? No one ever said life was fair... it sure isn't and especially so when you are a kid and have to deal with this stuff! God bless all the sick kids and their parents who are dealing with the big C! I just can not imagine trying to explain this illness to a child! I know God sees them through and we will never understand why this side of heaven! God alone knows the answers and He thought it best we not understand now and probably for good reason!
He went to his treatment today. I had a chiropractor visit while he finished up. He wanted some Cloverleaf after wards though he is not really suppose to eat from a buffet. We had some errands to run but soon after eating he was wiped out and ready for his recliner! I mean he can seem like he feels so well and then boom, it is like a balloon that is suddenly deflated!!
It is unreal to me he could take chemo and then enjoy food... this is different from what I thought it would be! I think it has a lot to do with the type chemo you get?? Don't know but he still has his appetite! Maybe some of the "swelling" is due to the buffet and recliner??? Well as long as you are on steroids you can always blame them!! I am thankful he still has his appetite. In the beginning he did lose weight and he may later but for now he is still loving his food! I do too but this blog is not about me! ha ha
I had to go back to S.S. office to take a form to them. I filled out all the necessary paperwork weeks ago. I decided to call and check on the status though truthfully I wasn't expecting much this early in the game. The answer I got was the process was being held up because they did not have a form to request his records??? I could have sworn I remembered us doing this form but never mind, if they didn't have it no need to discuss it! I mean they don't call and say ," we need this form and for some reason we neglected to put it in the packet we sent out to you." No, they let the paperwork sit for weeks on someone's desk and then when YOU call, you discover not one thing has been accomplished because they don't have one form... "We need form 124 LKS before we can go any further Mam.." (not really the right number but you know what I mean)... well geez what were they going to do... let it sit there until the ink was faded and never let you know? I know they have many to process and my preference would have been to file it online for him. However he managed to get on the phone to ask one question and then the S.S. office began the process. I have heard if you get them ALL the paperwork and they don't have to track it down it goes much better. Too late now, we are now at their mercy.
Ronnie and I were talking about how dangerous the Social Security location is on Hillcrest. He said " yeah, they probably put it here hoping someone would come over the top of the hill when you went to turn and take you out before you can get inside to apply for benefits!"... ha ha that is pretty funny!!I am not dishing on anyone who works for S.S. but our government is terrible inept at paperwork! I know the employees don't have a choice about protocol..it is already in place and it takes 500 sheets of paper to do what 5 could accomplish! We could probably kill a big portion of the national debt if paperwork could really be reduced! Then they send you 10 pages in the mail to tell you, "this is part of our PAPERWORK REDUCTION ACT!! I can not imagine when you have to wait for paperwork to arrive giving you permission to see a doctor! Ok, enough of that , I will have someone mad at me!!
The doctor gave him something to help him rest at night so we will see how that goes..other than him being so tired all day even before the chemo, he has had a pretty good day! His blood sugar has been bottoming out quite a bit lately. He says God is healing his diabetes and I pray that is true.I fear it maybe getting worse! Ok, so today call me Mrs. Doubting Thomas!!
Today was more normal ,we actually were sort of being a bit ill with each other this afternoon. " Why did you leave the door open??" .. I didn't , YOU left it open, old man!! ha ha We are thankful for every day that is relatively normal. I know we are just beginners and have a ways to go to remission graduation!! Thank you Lord for this day. God is good , ALL the time!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
We have settled into a new routine of going to chemo twice a week, adding pills to the many he already had to take. We are thankful though! Our time in the chemo room is very short!Some patients spend most of the day there. His chemo goes directly in a vein in his hand. He does not have a port! He takes 10 steroid type pills on Mondays. He normally feels pretty well until Wednesday and they drop him like a rock. He is also having to deal with the bloating and weight gain that comes with it. Nights are the worse for the pain so he does not go out much at night now.
I made a trip to Belk's yesterday for one size up! It is a good thing men deal with issues like this better than us ladies! One side effect that is hard to deal with is the shortness of breath. We made a trip to the hospital ER last weekend but they could find no real reason for it. The oxygen they put him on helped him a lot but I am glad his levels are not low enough for a prescription. I do hope he will be able to breath better at night. Two visits to the heart doctor in as many weeks have provided no answers. The swelling and the night sweats are probably related to his treatments or to his illness. I am not sure the doctors really know. While I am thankful it is treatable the road to remission is thus far not smooth asphalt but more like rough gravel!
Elizabeth Edwards once responded to someone who said she was dying of cancer. She corrected them by saying she was not dying of cancer but LIVING with cancer! There is a vast difference. I so admired this lady for her strength and courage. She was a public figure who not only fought a brave fight with cancer but had to endure public humiliation in the middle of that battle. She said that we all are going to die but she just happened to know( more than likely) what she would die of. She chose to put her energy towards living!
There is good that comes from all bad. We are closer than ever before. Our family is more important than ever before. You tend to see the best in people instead of their faults. You no longer major on the minors! It puts life in proper perspective really quick!
When you are young, you have an idea of what you think love is. Romance, rings and pretty things.. all wonderful but the love that endures is the love that binds you during hospital stays with sick children, losing loved ones, financial difficulties, raising kids, job changes....all of these things plus other things satan can toss at you! Young love is wonderful in many ways but it does not touch the surface of love that is tried and true! While that old couple's picture of their 60th anniversary may not be a beautiful portrait in the eyes of the world, you can believe it is very special to God.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I made a trip to Belk's yesterday for one size up! It is a good thing men deal with issues like this better than us ladies! One side effect that is hard to deal with is the shortness of breath. We made a trip to the hospital ER last weekend but they could find no real reason for it. The oxygen they put him on helped him a lot but I am glad his levels are not low enough for a prescription. I do hope he will be able to breath better at night. Two visits to the heart doctor in as many weeks have provided no answers. The swelling and the night sweats are probably related to his treatments or to his illness. I am not sure the doctors really know. While I am thankful it is treatable the road to remission is thus far not smooth asphalt but more like rough gravel!
Elizabeth Edwards once responded to someone who said she was dying of cancer. She corrected them by saying she was not dying of cancer but LIVING with cancer! There is a vast difference. I so admired this lady for her strength and courage. She was a public figure who not only fought a brave fight with cancer but had to endure public humiliation in the middle of that battle. She said that we all are going to die but she just happened to know( more than likely) what she would die of. She chose to put her energy towards living!
There is good that comes from all bad. We are closer than ever before. Our family is more important than ever before. You tend to see the best in people instead of their faults. You no longer major on the minors! It puts life in proper perspective really quick!
When you are young, you have an idea of what you think love is. Romance, rings and pretty things.. all wonderful but the love that endures is the love that binds you during hospital stays with sick children, losing loved ones, financial difficulties, raising kids, job changes....all of these things plus other things satan can toss at you! Young love is wonderful in many ways but it does not touch the surface of love that is tried and true! While that old couple's picture of their 60th anniversary may not be a beautiful portrait in the eyes of the world, you can believe it is very special to God.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Life Changes!
Christmas was upon us and here we were in waiting rooms a couple of days before Christmas. I love to read the Christmas story but I have to confess, this year I heard it but I never read it myself! To be honest I felt disconnected from Christmas. For the first time I can remember I said what I hate to hear from others..."I will be glad when it is over with!" I simply wanted all the doctors to be back in their offices and working again!!
Christmas is my favorite time of year. Ronnie bless his heart was upset because he "messed up Christmas for everybody." We clung to our faith but in spite of it, being so human there was a dark cloud over us. Of course he did not mess it up. It was better in a lot of ways because I was not stressed out with the things we women stress out abut most. Is the house clean, baking done, enough food, enough gifts. All the decorations that I love so much were started and then neglected. All the stuff I usually put so much importance on was no longer important at all! Being with our family WAS very important but all the hoopla leading up to it... Not at all. My son Kelly and wife Amber stepped up and offered to host our family party this year. I was ready to let them! I know it was discussed among the boys and any one of them would have hosted it! We had a laughter filled Christmas!!I have to say I did the games and stayed occupied and silly the whole time! We had a wonderful family time. Ronnie tired out and our family forbade me from helping clean up and we left early. ..They all pitched in as a family and helped clean up. For the first time since I have had children my living room and kitchen was clean on Christmas morning!
We still had to get through the next week with New Years holiday.. we spent it quiet with the two of us eating our blackeyed peas,ham slice, cabbage and corn bread. We went to church that Sunday morning. Our pastor told the congregation 2011 was going to be a year for miracles and we as believers were going to see many things happen. I will take that word and hold it close to my heart!!
Finally the holidays were over and the oncologist appointment was on the following Tuesday. All the tests results were finally in. The doctor confirmed Multiple Myeloma in the third stage.From what I have read there are just three stages. He told us it was not curable but treatable. He wanted to start chemo and the other treatments right away. The good news was it had not affected his kidneys yet. Some people are in renal failure before they get a diagnosis! The doctor said Ronnie was dumping a lot of protein into his bloodstream and it was being lost in his urine. He was going to schedule the treatments to begin the next Monday.
I had already began searching on the internet for more information. It was scary to even read about. I had sat up long hours reading before Christmas and sat at my computer and bawled. I was so filled with a sense of dread about the chemo and all the awful side affects. He was also a bit apprehensive about the cheom but ready to gear up and begin the battle. Then the ice storm hit and the office was closed that Monday...then a medicine he had to have had not come in so he could not begin the next day either! I felt devasted! My mind knew that a few days was not going to make a big difference in his treatment but my heart felt so desperate! We can't wait any longer..the cancer is destroying all of his bones.. I ranted to poor Amber who works in the office there...but... there was nothing to do but wait some more!!We finally got the very expensive drug over-nighted and began treatment on that Thursday.
He was in such pain, it was almost unbearable. I would put pillows around him and then when he had to get up or turn over he did not even have the strength to move them. We were up and down every thirty minutes. He was taking the pain meds every 4 to 6 hours but they always wore off before the next dose. I was afraid I was giving him too much but what was I to do? I could not pray with any sense of purpose during this time. I found a little book of prayers I had for a long time...I read a lot of these. I would just cry and ask God to please ease his pain. I know so many others were praying too. What a comfort it is when you lie your tired head down for a while to sleep to KNOW that if you have not prayed there are others interceding for you. How could I have ever understood the importance of the prayers of others if I were not in this situation? Many times he would ease off and go off to sleep for a few hours after I prayed. I would read him the names and remarks from the Face book page and emails of people who were praying for him. I was thankful so any rest he could get!
When we went back to the doctor it was explained that Ronnie would need a bone marrow transplant and his own marrow will be used. We later found out he will be in the hospital 4 to 6 weeks. He must be in remission however and meet certain health requirements before this can happen. It usually takes from 4 to 6 months of treatment to get a patient into remission. The bone marrow transplant is very bad on the body. All of your cells good and bad are killed off. You are a target for any germ ,virus , or fungus that wants to take up residence in your body!!
From what I read it sort of makes me think about Max.He was a beautiful golden retriever we adopted from the pound many years ago.He had heart worms and the vet had explained the treatment as being so bad it could take him out but so necessary if he were to live. Max had a tough time but he survived it and lived many more years... I don't mean to compare my precious husbands life with a dog's, no matter he was a very sweet animal... It just brought it to mind!! I followed the treatment of the young girl in our community who had a form leukemia. This child suffered so much and had to spend so much time in Atlanta in the hospital.My mother's heart grieved for her mother and family when I read the posts from Eggleston about her daughter sufferings. For those of you out of town who do not know this family....notice I said she HAD cancer!! She has been declared cancer free! We thank you Lord!
The doctor increased Ronnie's long acting pain meds so he would not be on so much tylenol. After a few days his pain was being managed better. Thankfully he began to rest better and so did I! After his first bone treatment of Zometa, he wound up in the hospital overnight. His internists thought he had the flu. We were so thankful he didn't! The last one he took we knew what to expect..sure enough the fever and chills came on but were gone after one night. He tolerates the chemo injections very well. He has not lost his appetite and has not been sick to his stomach so far! The drug companies have some new drugs that really help with this aspect of chemo..or at least with the Velcade he takes.So far his already thinning hair is hanging on too! He was hoping his beard would fall out and he would not have to shave for a while but that has not happened either!! Sometimes the things we fear are not as bad as the reality! Sometimes they are worse. However no matter what it is all in God's hands
I had a first cousin who passed away a few years ago. I am sad to say she was already buried before I knew anything about her passing. She came down with MS when she was still a teenager. In that time they knew so little of this disease and there was virtually no treatment for it. She soon became wheel chair bound, her limbs practically useless.She was dependent on her elderly mother for her care. Soon both of them were in a nursing home together. Her mother died and Mary spent the rest of her years in nursing homes.She was a beautiful young woman with her first and only car ( 66 SS Chevelle) when she was stricken. She never married or had a family, never had any kind of home of her own... she still loved the Lord and would testify to God's goodness every time I saw her. She did not have good use of her hands but discovered the paint by numbers art sets. She sold them for change or gave them away to other residents. She proudly put them on display in her room. She still found enjoyment in spite of her circumstances. I am sorry to say I did not visit her as I should have. I think about the impact her life had on so many because she harbored no bitterness for her plight in this life! She never appeared down or depressed though I am sure there had to be times when she was. She loved to talk about the life she would have one day in heaven!! I know she is now enjoying that life!
Christmas is my favorite time of year. Ronnie bless his heart was upset because he "messed up Christmas for everybody." We clung to our faith but in spite of it, being so human there was a dark cloud over us. Of course he did not mess it up. It was better in a lot of ways because I was not stressed out with the things we women stress out abut most. Is the house clean, baking done, enough food, enough gifts. All the decorations that I love so much were started and then neglected. All the stuff I usually put so much importance on was no longer important at all! Being with our family WAS very important but all the hoopla leading up to it... Not at all. My son Kelly and wife Amber stepped up and offered to host our family party this year. I was ready to let them! I know it was discussed among the boys and any one of them would have hosted it! We had a laughter filled Christmas!!I have to say I did the games and stayed occupied and silly the whole time! We had a wonderful family time. Ronnie tired out and our family forbade me from helping clean up and we left early. ..They all pitched in as a family and helped clean up. For the first time since I have had children my living room and kitchen was clean on Christmas morning!
We still had to get through the next week with New Years holiday.. we spent it quiet with the two of us eating our blackeyed peas,ham slice, cabbage and corn bread. We went to church that Sunday morning. Our pastor told the congregation 2011 was going to be a year for miracles and we as believers were going to see many things happen. I will take that word and hold it close to my heart!!
Finally the holidays were over and the oncologist appointment was on the following Tuesday. All the tests results were finally in. The doctor confirmed Multiple Myeloma in the third stage.From what I have read there are just three stages. He told us it was not curable but treatable. He wanted to start chemo and the other treatments right away. The good news was it had not affected his kidneys yet. Some people are in renal failure before they get a diagnosis! The doctor said Ronnie was dumping a lot of protein into his bloodstream and it was being lost in his urine. He was going to schedule the treatments to begin the next Monday.
I had already began searching on the internet for more information. It was scary to even read about. I had sat up long hours reading before Christmas and sat at my computer and bawled. I was so filled with a sense of dread about the chemo and all the awful side affects. He was also a bit apprehensive about the cheom but ready to gear up and begin the battle. Then the ice storm hit and the office was closed that Monday...then a medicine he had to have had not come in so he could not begin the next day either! I felt devasted! My mind knew that a few days was not going to make a big difference in his treatment but my heart felt so desperate! We can't wait any longer..the cancer is destroying all of his bones.. I ranted to poor Amber who works in the office there...but... there was nothing to do but wait some more!!We finally got the very expensive drug over-nighted and began treatment on that Thursday.
He was in such pain, it was almost unbearable. I would put pillows around him and then when he had to get up or turn over he did not even have the strength to move them. We were up and down every thirty minutes. He was taking the pain meds every 4 to 6 hours but they always wore off before the next dose. I was afraid I was giving him too much but what was I to do? I could not pray with any sense of purpose during this time. I found a little book of prayers I had for a long time...I read a lot of these. I would just cry and ask God to please ease his pain. I know so many others were praying too. What a comfort it is when you lie your tired head down for a while to sleep to KNOW that if you have not prayed there are others interceding for you. How could I have ever understood the importance of the prayers of others if I were not in this situation? Many times he would ease off and go off to sleep for a few hours after I prayed. I would read him the names and remarks from the Face book page and emails of people who were praying for him. I was thankful so any rest he could get!
When we went back to the doctor it was explained that Ronnie would need a bone marrow transplant and his own marrow will be used. We later found out he will be in the hospital 4 to 6 weeks. He must be in remission however and meet certain health requirements before this can happen. It usually takes from 4 to 6 months of treatment to get a patient into remission. The bone marrow transplant is very bad on the body. All of your cells good and bad are killed off. You are a target for any germ ,virus , or fungus that wants to take up residence in your body!!
From what I read it sort of makes me think about Max.He was a beautiful golden retriever we adopted from the pound many years ago.He had heart worms and the vet had explained the treatment as being so bad it could take him out but so necessary if he were to live. Max had a tough time but he survived it and lived many more years... I don't mean to compare my precious husbands life with a dog's, no matter he was a very sweet animal... It just brought it to mind!! I followed the treatment of the young girl in our community who had a form leukemia. This child suffered so much and had to spend so much time in Atlanta in the hospital.My mother's heart grieved for her mother and family when I read the posts from Eggleston about her daughter sufferings. For those of you out of town who do not know this family....notice I said she HAD cancer!! She has been declared cancer free! We thank you Lord!
The doctor increased Ronnie's long acting pain meds so he would not be on so much tylenol. After a few days his pain was being managed better. Thankfully he began to rest better and so did I! After his first bone treatment of Zometa, he wound up in the hospital overnight. His internists thought he had the flu. We were so thankful he didn't! The last one he took we knew what to expect..sure enough the fever and chills came on but were gone after one night. He tolerates the chemo injections very well. He has not lost his appetite and has not been sick to his stomach so far! The drug companies have some new drugs that really help with this aspect of chemo..or at least with the Velcade he takes.So far his already thinning hair is hanging on too! He was hoping his beard would fall out and he would not have to shave for a while but that has not happened either!! Sometimes the things we fear are not as bad as the reality! Sometimes they are worse. However no matter what it is all in God's hands
I had a first cousin who passed away a few years ago. I am sad to say she was already buried before I knew anything about her passing. She came down with MS when she was still a teenager. In that time they knew so little of this disease and there was virtually no treatment for it. She soon became wheel chair bound, her limbs practically useless.She was dependent on her elderly mother for her care. Soon both of them were in a nursing home together. Her mother died and Mary spent the rest of her years in nursing homes.She was a beautiful young woman with her first and only car ( 66 SS Chevelle) when she was stricken. She never married or had a family, never had any kind of home of her own... she still loved the Lord and would testify to God's goodness every time I saw her. She did not have good use of her hands but discovered the paint by numbers art sets. She sold them for change or gave them away to other residents. She proudly put them on display in her room. She still found enjoyment in spite of her circumstances. I am sorry to say I did not visit her as I should have. I think about the impact her life had on so many because she harbored no bitterness for her plight in this life! She never appeared down or depressed though I am sure there had to be times when she was. She loved to talk about the life she would have one day in heaven!! I know she is now enjoying that life!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Don't get sick between Thanksgiving and Christmas!!
When I called to get an appointment with his internist I found out he already had one!!! Could God have worked this any better? We took the tests results to his internists. His brow was wrinkled and the expression on his face told us it was not good news. He told us he needed to do a 24 hour urine catch but he was 99.9 percent sure it WAS multiple myeloma. I still had no real knowledge of what it was. He had us go to his office and was muttering to himself, asking himself questions and then answering his own questions! He told us he going right then to make an appointment with a local oncologist and he would take good care of us. He still needed the results of the urine tests to know for sure. He assured us while there was no cure it was treatable..whatever that meant! We left perplexed but at least maybe in a couple of days we would know something for sure! I knew it was bad when he scribbled his cell phone number down and gave it to me. When is the last time you had a doctor do that?? Then the doc calls me later just to be sure I have his number in my phone!!
We took the 24 hour urine in and were told they would let us know when the results came back. The doc had also ordered a skeletal study... I had not bought the first thing for our family Christmas party..so I took the opportunity to do some quick shopping for games... got my list almost completed and then the nurse called. She said Ronnie had become very sick and could I come back to pick him up. SO , I left the buggy in the aisle I was shopping in and went to pick him up. I wheeled him to the car and thankfully he got better later in the day so we were able to go back and finish it.
In the mean time we did go see the oncologists. One of our three daughter in laws works at the front desk so it was a big comfort to see her sweet smiling face when we walked in. It is startling there to say the least. Some of the patients are so pale and look so sick! There are SO many of them too! We saw the very kind doctor who joked that he was glad he "worked us in early since our daughter in law worked there or he would be in trouble!'... humor never hurts ... people are acting normal here..as if everything is ok, so we will be ok!! He spent a lot of time asking questions and then took some bone marrow from Ronnie's hip. I know it was very painful but he tried not to show it. Dumb me, I had thought we would know THAT day! He told us it would take TWO weeks for the tests to all come in to confirm it. That meant it would be after Christmas before we knew!
He, like Ronnie's other doctor tried to write a script for morphine but Ronnie refused it. He was taking loratab every 4 hours. Allow me to digress here please!! Let me say here and now if you are a drug junkie reading this, don't come around... I have 3 bad dogs one a bulldog and (2) 38 revolvers!! We live in a sad time when people get hooked on stuff and will break in to get it!! I would hate to shoot someone, but before I would even see so much as an animal of mine hurt I would blow someone away that tried to hurt someone or something under my roof!! God gives us brains , so we hold to our guns and our "religion" to quote someone else!! I will pray for your soul while you are dying, life here is temporary but hell is forever!! I really don't want anyone to go to hell!!
Ok, now that issue is settled... Ronnie was afraid if he started on something that strong he would get used to it and it would not help him later. He was in so much pain I would set the clock to get up and see that he kept the pain medicine in him! The pain was getting worse every day it seemed . The X rays showed his leg had broke and healed back. His ribs had a "mottled" appearance. His leg and arm bones showed lesions or holes in them. His spine showed the effects of the disease that was causing his bones to decay!! His knees hurt... No wonder the poor guy was in pain and had pain every where!! My heart was breaking and it was to the point I could not even pray other than to cry and say God help my baby! Yes, he is a mighty big and old baby but we have had each other since we were 14 and 16! We married when I was 16 and he was 18...by the time he was 28 and I was 26 we had four sons!! I could not bear the thought of him suffering much less even think about him going home to heaven! Yes, we all have to die and yes he is almost 62 and yes we have had a good life and been so blessed but I WANT to be blessed some more... I don't deal with this kind of pain too well!! In spite of all my heart knew about the love of God and how blessed we had been, I was mad at God for a while! The person I love more than myself is suffering... little children are suffering!! Why won't He answer my prayers?? He needs pain relief tonight!! He needs to be able to breath tonight!
When we went to church I sat beside him and cried wondering if this would be our last Christmas together! He hobbled in and sat down in our usual spot... and slept through most of the service... he wanted to be in God's house no matter!! I am a very emotional person to put it mildly. I wear my heart on my sleeve all the time... I talk way too much and if you are my friend you probably know more about me than you ever really wanted to know... I am an open book. Ronnie jokingly told me one day last week to never play poker!! I am a cryer.. I cry when I am happy, sad, and mad, when I feel God's spirit moving and anything in between!! This was killing me! Ronnie is having to console me!! He is telling me , it is ok, just cry and don't worry about it!! I am a wreck but I manage to suck it up and take care of him. He has become almost dependent on me for everything. It hurts him for me to have the work but also because he is a man's man... He is old school and thinks he is suppose to stay well and strong to take care of ME!! God has other plans...our ways are not His ways.. our plans are not His plans... I am learning new things and I foolishly thought I knew some of the the right things to say to people who are grieving and hurting... I am learning now I know NOTHING outside of the love of Jesus... what I do know is that HE suffered and we can never understand to what extent... I know regardless of how much hurt and suffering we have to endure, oh how He loves us!!! I have a lot more to learn, I have not even scratched the surface of the lessons God has for me... that puts some fear in me but He says he will never leave us nor forsake us... so we cling to that promise as we are in the early days of this journey!
We took the 24 hour urine in and were told they would let us know when the results came back. The doc had also ordered a skeletal study... I had not bought the first thing for our family Christmas party..so I took the opportunity to do some quick shopping for games... got my list almost completed and then the nurse called. She said Ronnie had become very sick and could I come back to pick him up. SO , I left the buggy in the aisle I was shopping in and went to pick him up. I wheeled him to the car and thankfully he got better later in the day so we were able to go back and finish it.
In the mean time we did go see the oncologists. One of our three daughter in laws works at the front desk so it was a big comfort to see her sweet smiling face when we walked in. It is startling there to say the least. Some of the patients are so pale and look so sick! There are SO many of them too! We saw the very kind doctor who joked that he was glad he "worked us in early since our daughter in law worked there or he would be in trouble!'... humor never hurts ... people are acting normal here..as if everything is ok, so we will be ok!! He spent a lot of time asking questions and then took some bone marrow from Ronnie's hip. I know it was very painful but he tried not to show it. Dumb me, I had thought we would know THAT day! He told us it would take TWO weeks for the tests to all come in to confirm it. That meant it would be after Christmas before we knew!
He, like Ronnie's other doctor tried to write a script for morphine but Ronnie refused it. He was taking loratab every 4 hours. Allow me to digress here please!! Let me say here and now if you are a drug junkie reading this, don't come around... I have 3 bad dogs one a bulldog and (2) 38 revolvers!! We live in a sad time when people get hooked on stuff and will break in to get it!! I would hate to shoot someone, but before I would even see so much as an animal of mine hurt I would blow someone away that tried to hurt someone or something under my roof!! God gives us brains , so we hold to our guns and our "religion" to quote someone else!! I will pray for your soul while you are dying, life here is temporary but hell is forever!! I really don't want anyone to go to hell!!
Ok, now that issue is settled... Ronnie was afraid if he started on something that strong he would get used to it and it would not help him later. He was in so much pain I would set the clock to get up and see that he kept the pain medicine in him! The pain was getting worse every day it seemed . The X rays showed his leg had broke and healed back. His ribs had a "mottled" appearance. His leg and arm bones showed lesions or holes in them. His spine showed the effects of the disease that was causing his bones to decay!! His knees hurt... No wonder the poor guy was in pain and had pain every where!! My heart was breaking and it was to the point I could not even pray other than to cry and say God help my baby! Yes, he is a mighty big and old baby but we have had each other since we were 14 and 16! We married when I was 16 and he was 18...by the time he was 28 and I was 26 we had four sons!! I could not bear the thought of him suffering much less even think about him going home to heaven! Yes, we all have to die and yes he is almost 62 and yes we have had a good life and been so blessed but I WANT to be blessed some more... I don't deal with this kind of pain too well!! In spite of all my heart knew about the love of God and how blessed we had been, I was mad at God for a while! The person I love more than myself is suffering... little children are suffering!! Why won't He answer my prayers?? He needs pain relief tonight!! He needs to be able to breath tonight!
When we went to church I sat beside him and cried wondering if this would be our last Christmas together! He hobbled in and sat down in our usual spot... and slept through most of the service... he wanted to be in God's house no matter!! I am a very emotional person to put it mildly. I wear my heart on my sleeve all the time... I talk way too much and if you are my friend you probably know more about me than you ever really wanted to know... I am an open book. Ronnie jokingly told me one day last week to never play poker!! I am a cryer.. I cry when I am happy, sad, and mad, when I feel God's spirit moving and anything in between!! This was killing me! Ronnie is having to console me!! He is telling me , it is ok, just cry and don't worry about it!! I am a wreck but I manage to suck it up and take care of him. He has become almost dependent on me for everything. It hurts him for me to have the work but also because he is a man's man... He is old school and thinks he is suppose to stay well and strong to take care of ME!! God has other plans...our ways are not His ways.. our plans are not His plans... I am learning new things and I foolishly thought I knew some of the the right things to say to people who are grieving and hurting... I am learning now I know NOTHING outside of the love of Jesus... what I do know is that HE suffered and we can never understand to what extent... I know regardless of how much hurt and suffering we have to endure, oh how He loves us!!! I have a lot more to learn, I have not even scratched the surface of the lessons God has for me... that puts some fear in me but He says he will never leave us nor forsake us... so we cling to that promise as we are in the early days of this journey!
Trucking and Doctors
I have been thinking of doing this for some time so please bear with me for writing so much at once! I am playing catch up! I would not have had the time had I tried before. Please forgive my many mistakes and grammar errors. Now to continue as the late great Paul Harvey would say..the rest of the story!
We went onto Alabama almost to the Mississippi line that night. We stopped to eat and I knocked over a huge glass of tea in my lap... just the way that day went! Compared to the other events this was nothing!! We tried to put what the doctor had told us out of our minds. We had business to take care of!
We got there just as they were cleaning up all the mess from the load but the truck was long since towed away. On inspection the next morning we discovered Shannon and Keith were very right...it was totaled! The man who owned the wrecker company gave us 150 cash for our almost full tanks of fuel..since the insurance company would not include the fuel in the price of the salvage. That would help with the expenses of the trip. We recovered some tools and stuff and headed back towards home with the intention of shopping for another truck on the way back. The wrecked truck was a great truck..nothing fancy but got great fuel mileage. It was a good truck in a mechanical way also. We had bought it just a few months earlier from "Domino" one of Ronnie's trucking friends who had also decided to retire! It would be no easy task to find one we could afford that would be as sound mechanically. The profit margin is so slim in this business,making it essential to take every thing into consideration! Besides even if we could finance a more expensive truck they don't make anymore money than the ones that cost much less!! I am thankful my husband sees it this way too cause I know just once he would love to own a Peterbuilt!
When we began shopping he ask at one point did I think we should just "get out of it"... but with me being the money manager , I knew we did not have enough coming in ...little as it may be after expenses..we needed it!We are paying Cobra insurance and with his diabetes and other issues we had to keep it though it is like a car payment! This is a new reality in America! We prayed that night in the motel that God would lead us ..if we bought another truck it would have to be solid and CHEAP!! Most of the trucks in the ads were well above what we owed on the one wrecked and out of our budget!
He had saw one in a truck paper earlier that sounded too cheap to believe it could be much good. We headed on over to Birmingham to check it out. He called the salesman and could not get him so we decided to go on home. Ronnie said it might just be a come on anyway! Ronnie had saw some in other places and decided he wanted to look around some anyway. Thirty miles or so out of Birmingham the salesman called back and insisted we turn around and come back! We talked it over briefly and decided to turn around. After all we HAD prayed about it! We did buy the 2000 model Freightliner that same week! So far it has proved to be a good old truck though it does not get the fuel mileage the International got! It was cheap and it seems to be solid! Had we not made the decision to turn around and had we not bought it that same week, with Ronnie's illness I am convinced we would not have a truck now!! We had no idea at that time what we would be facing!
Ronnie managed to drive the truck home with me following. He had a tough time just getting home. When we stopped for a burger he had a lot of trouble and pain. That was the last time he has drove a big truck. A few days later he could not walk with his leg. I had to look up his walker he used with his knee replacement. He had been complaining with his hand hurting and pain between his shoulder blades long before he quit driving but we thought it was from driving the long hours.He wanted to get the truck cleaned up and have the paint buffed but he was not up to doing anything at this point...He was out of steam.
The doctor in Macon had suggested he get a colonoscopy.He had one the next week and thankfully it turned out negative for cancer..so for a brief time we felt better! He also sent us for a test to rule out a disease I had never heard of..Multiple Myeloma.. after another test for that and another wait, I found a message on my cell phone that congratulated us...he tested negative for this too!! It was looking like with Thanksgiving coming up we were going to have even more to be thankful for! If we just KNEW what we were dealing with!
He fell one day in a local parking lot after we got back home from getting the truck. He had intense back pain and we wondered if he had injured his back in some way. He went to the doctor and got a script for muscle relaxers and anti inflam meds.. We went to help with the festival of lights at our church. We worked a long day and it came as no surprise neither of us could hardly get out of bed the next day. I got better but he continued to get worse. He was determined to do something useful now that he was "retired" and went back alone to work on the lights that next Tuesday. He came home in so much pain! He struggled to stay on his feet and every time he tried to move during the night he moaned in pain. He is not a complainer and I just KNEW something was not right! This was the tough guy who went to El Paso at 6 weeks after a total knee replacement! He went back to driving 6 weeks after a back fusion years earlier.. he had a pacemaker/defib put in and was back at it in two short weeks.
I tried to get him in to see the back doctors in Savannah. He also had chest pain so he had already visited his heart doctor who declared he had pluresy. Meds for that seemed to help but then the pain was moving around. He went back to his internist, he went to the urgent care center...he has enough doctor appointments to keep with diabetes and having his pacemaker checked out.. so I knew he was hurting to continue to spend his time going! He had no energy and looked so pale. He tried to help me put up our usual light display at home... but quit after a hour or so...My heart just ached for him. It is a feeling of such helplessness to see someone you love so much and you KNOW something is very wrong but can not find out what is causing it!
On the day before Thanksgiving I took him to the urologist . He had a history of kidney stones and he thought maybe one might be trying to come down. After the doctor told him it was not his kidneys we were baffled and he was frustrated beyond words. He sort of vented on the doc about how he had went to this doctor and that doctor and could not find out what was going on with him. The doctor had no compassion and was very rude at this point. Instead of seeing him as a man who was in a lot of pain , he took it personal! His PA was very different however. I saw her a while back in a restaurant and she remembered us and ask did we ever get a diagnosis. I confirmed that we did and she expressed to me how she knew he was in pain and how bad she felt for us that day! I was crying that day and she almost got me back to that point in the fast food place that day! She was so kind and caring...maybe the doc was having a bad day ? It struck me how he had mission pictures all over the walls from another country and he could not empathize and see my husband was in so much pain! I won't judge him but the old saying goes that charity begins at home and I am not talking free!!! I know the man probably does a good work on his mission trip. We called his internists who was out for the holiday and the doctor on call was not taking on anymore patients! I guess the one good thing he did do is tell us to go to ER...
We left his office and went to ER at Fairview. They were super nice to us and have always been great! The doctor there very kindly also told Ronnie he did not know what to do with him. Usually people begin with me and then go to their doctors, he told us. What he DID do was run lots of tests...which led to his diagnosis that came in January! The orthopedic doctor in Macon was not too far from the mark though he did not have all the tests. All he had was the CT scan to go by but he was on the right path. He even had him checked for MM (Multiple Myeloma) but being an orthopedic doctor he omitted some detail that had to be checked so that is why the test was negative.
We spent nine hours at ER and it was beginning to look like there would be no turkey dinner the next day at my house anyway! Shifts changed and then comes in the next doctor on shift. She too did not know what was wrong but she stated , something is wrong, he has a lot going on , I just don't know at this point what it is! She did give us ALL the tests results to take back to his internists. She told him she would admit him for pain relief but he opted to go home. Maybe by next Monday we can have an answer!!!
We went onto Alabama almost to the Mississippi line that night. We stopped to eat and I knocked over a huge glass of tea in my lap... just the way that day went! Compared to the other events this was nothing!! We tried to put what the doctor had told us out of our minds. We had business to take care of!
We got there just as they were cleaning up all the mess from the load but the truck was long since towed away. On inspection the next morning we discovered Shannon and Keith were very right...it was totaled! The man who owned the wrecker company gave us 150 cash for our almost full tanks of fuel..since the insurance company would not include the fuel in the price of the salvage. That would help with the expenses of the trip. We recovered some tools and stuff and headed back towards home with the intention of shopping for another truck on the way back. The wrecked truck was a great truck..nothing fancy but got great fuel mileage. It was a good truck in a mechanical way also. We had bought it just a few months earlier from "Domino" one of Ronnie's trucking friends who had also decided to retire! It would be no easy task to find one we could afford that would be as sound mechanically. The profit margin is so slim in this business,making it essential to take every thing into consideration! Besides even if we could finance a more expensive truck they don't make anymore money than the ones that cost much less!! I am thankful my husband sees it this way too cause I know just once he would love to own a Peterbuilt!
When we began shopping he ask at one point did I think we should just "get out of it"... but with me being the money manager , I knew we did not have enough coming in ...little as it may be after expenses..we needed it!We are paying Cobra insurance and with his diabetes and other issues we had to keep it though it is like a car payment! This is a new reality in America! We prayed that night in the motel that God would lead us ..if we bought another truck it would have to be solid and CHEAP!! Most of the trucks in the ads were well above what we owed on the one wrecked and out of our budget!
He had saw one in a truck paper earlier that sounded too cheap to believe it could be much good. We headed on over to Birmingham to check it out. He called the salesman and could not get him so we decided to go on home. Ronnie said it might just be a come on anyway! Ronnie had saw some in other places and decided he wanted to look around some anyway. Thirty miles or so out of Birmingham the salesman called back and insisted we turn around and come back! We talked it over briefly and decided to turn around. After all we HAD prayed about it! We did buy the 2000 model Freightliner that same week! So far it has proved to be a good old truck though it does not get the fuel mileage the International got! It was cheap and it seems to be solid! Had we not made the decision to turn around and had we not bought it that same week, with Ronnie's illness I am convinced we would not have a truck now!! We had no idea at that time what we would be facing!
Ronnie managed to drive the truck home with me following. He had a tough time just getting home. When we stopped for a burger he had a lot of trouble and pain. That was the last time he has drove a big truck. A few days later he could not walk with his leg. I had to look up his walker he used with his knee replacement. He had been complaining with his hand hurting and pain between his shoulder blades long before he quit driving but we thought it was from driving the long hours.He wanted to get the truck cleaned up and have the paint buffed but he was not up to doing anything at this point...He was out of steam.
The doctor in Macon had suggested he get a colonoscopy.He had one the next week and thankfully it turned out negative for cancer..so for a brief time we felt better! He also sent us for a test to rule out a disease I had never heard of..Multiple Myeloma.. after another test for that and another wait, I found a message on my cell phone that congratulated us...he tested negative for this too!! It was looking like with Thanksgiving coming up we were going to have even more to be thankful for! If we just KNEW what we were dealing with!
He fell one day in a local parking lot after we got back home from getting the truck. He had intense back pain and we wondered if he had injured his back in some way. He went to the doctor and got a script for muscle relaxers and anti inflam meds.. We went to help with the festival of lights at our church. We worked a long day and it came as no surprise neither of us could hardly get out of bed the next day. I got better but he continued to get worse. He was determined to do something useful now that he was "retired" and went back alone to work on the lights that next Tuesday. He came home in so much pain! He struggled to stay on his feet and every time he tried to move during the night he moaned in pain. He is not a complainer and I just KNEW something was not right! This was the tough guy who went to El Paso at 6 weeks after a total knee replacement! He went back to driving 6 weeks after a back fusion years earlier.. he had a pacemaker/defib put in and was back at it in two short weeks.
I tried to get him in to see the back doctors in Savannah. He also had chest pain so he had already visited his heart doctor who declared he had pluresy. Meds for that seemed to help but then the pain was moving around. He went back to his internist, he went to the urgent care center...he has enough doctor appointments to keep with diabetes and having his pacemaker checked out.. so I knew he was hurting to continue to spend his time going! He had no energy and looked so pale. He tried to help me put up our usual light display at home... but quit after a hour or so...My heart just ached for him. It is a feeling of such helplessness to see someone you love so much and you KNOW something is very wrong but can not find out what is causing it!
On the day before Thanksgiving I took him to the urologist . He had a history of kidney stones and he thought maybe one might be trying to come down. After the doctor told him it was not his kidneys we were baffled and he was frustrated beyond words. He sort of vented on the doc about how he had went to this doctor and that doctor and could not find out what was going on with him. The doctor had no compassion and was very rude at this point. Instead of seeing him as a man who was in a lot of pain , he took it personal! His PA was very different however. I saw her a while back in a restaurant and she remembered us and ask did we ever get a diagnosis. I confirmed that we did and she expressed to me how she knew he was in pain and how bad she felt for us that day! I was crying that day and she almost got me back to that point in the fast food place that day! She was so kind and caring...maybe the doc was having a bad day ? It struck me how he had mission pictures all over the walls from another country and he could not empathize and see my husband was in so much pain! I won't judge him but the old saying goes that charity begins at home and I am not talking free!!! I know the man probably does a good work on his mission trip. We called his internists who was out for the holiday and the doctor on call was not taking on anymore patients! I guess the one good thing he did do is tell us to go to ER...
We left his office and went to ER at Fairview. They were super nice to us and have always been great! The doctor there very kindly also told Ronnie he did not know what to do with him. Usually people begin with me and then go to their doctors, he told us. What he DID do was run lots of tests...which led to his diagnosis that came in January! The orthopedic doctor in Macon was not too far from the mark though he did not have all the tests. All he had was the CT scan to go by but he was on the right path. He even had him checked for MM (Multiple Myeloma) but being an orthopedic doctor he omitted some detail that had to be checked so that is why the test was negative.
We spent nine hours at ER and it was beginning to look like there would be no turkey dinner the next day at my house anyway! Shifts changed and then comes in the next doctor on shift. She too did not know what was wrong but she stated , something is wrong, he has a lot going on , I just don't know at this point what it is! She did give us ALL the tests results to take back to his internists. She told him she would admit him for pain relief but he opted to go home. Maybe by next Monday we can have an answer!!!
God's hand in a bad day! Nov 2010
We packed up baby Car that Monday morning and headed to Macon . We both had doctors appointments. Mine for shots in my arthritic knees and Ronnie's to find out test results from the previous week's visit. In my previous blog I had mentioned the fact I knew that morning we would not be able to keep baby Car much longer. We discussed it on the way to Macon and both agreed. Ronnie's energy level was at zero and I was having more and more problems with my knees.I have arthritis in all my joints and had told Ronnie a month or so earlier that I could not keep Carson. He chided me about taking the baby to daycare and said I was a bad Meme etc..joking of course. He told me he would help me and we could do it between us! After our conversation I felt lead to call a Christian friend of ours who runs a great daycare. She was the only one Car's parents said they would feel comfortable leaving him with. She was booked up when Amber went back to work so we agreed to keep him until they could find a good place! Cammi's waiting list was very long! She would not have an opening until the baby was a year old! I decided to call her that morning on the chance she might recommend someone !! When she answered she thought I was returning HER call! She had just called the house and left a message to say SHE had an opening!! Of course I told her we were on the road and I had NO idea she had called! That was a God thing!! I called his dad to talk to him about it not knowing we would be taking the baby there to stay that very day!!
We had a bit of time to kill when we got to Macon, so Ronnie suggested we swing by Lowe's to check out their Christmas lights! (he knew this would make me VERY happy!) Just when we were getting the stroller unpacked in the Lowe's parking lot,his cell phone rang. He took the call while I got out the essential items for the baby. I could tell something had happened and it was not good! Keith who bought our other truck and was leased on to Eagle was telling Ronnie that our driver Shannon had been in a wreck. Ronnie got off the phone and managed to get Shannon who told him that he was in an ambulance on the way to the hospital to be checked out! He told Ronnie , he thought he was fine, just bruises and shook up but the truck was totaled! Ronnie assured him that as long as HE was ok that was the important thing!
Shannon was checked over and was able to catch a ride home with Keith since they both were going to the same place. Shannon is a very good driver. We are so blessed to have him. The place they were going was on a county road and he got caught in a blinding rainstorm on a very curvy road. When the truck got off on the soft shoulder that was it! Thankfully noone else was involved and he was not hurt! Needless to say we did not bother with any Christmas lights on this day! We would be on our way to Alabama before night fall.
On to see Doctor Bill...got my shots then he comes in to see Ronnie... he tells us in a quite manner of fact manner, the lesions on his spine or either a metastasis from a possible cancer in his colon or could be bone cancer! He made arrangements for yet more tests... we left the office very shell shocked.. only to get a few miles on 175 to run out of gas!! GMC has had thousands of complaints with the gas gauges on their vehicles that quit working but they will not acknowledge it with a recall. So we set the trip to keep up with it..don't know what happened this day except satan was out to get us any way possible! The place it quit was in construction so we had to pull over right by the guard rail. I think poor Ronnie without thinking just got out and started walking towards the next exit! The traffic was zooming by seemingly at 100 miles per hour! I called 911 and they sent a kind deputy who was sympathetic towards a crying grandma with her 6 month old grandson in the back seat. I was terrified someone would hit us! Had I been in there alone I would have been ok but with the way our day was going I was not going to take any chances with my grandson! He pushed us up and off the road with his bumper and then thankfully a very nice person brought us some gas so we continued to Dublin. so we could pack clothes for the trip to Alabama and drop the baby off at the daycare. I knew he was in good hands but it was still very hard to know he would be coming here everyday now instead of our house! In spite of all that had gone wrong that day, a lot had gone right. God always makes provisions for His own!What satan intends for bad, God turns to good!
We had a bit of time to kill when we got to Macon, so Ronnie suggested we swing by Lowe's to check out their Christmas lights! (he knew this would make me VERY happy!) Just when we were getting the stroller unpacked in the Lowe's parking lot,his cell phone rang. He took the call while I got out the essential items for the baby. I could tell something had happened and it was not good! Keith who bought our other truck and was leased on to Eagle was telling Ronnie that our driver Shannon had been in a wreck. Ronnie got off the phone and managed to get Shannon who told him that he was in an ambulance on the way to the hospital to be checked out! He told Ronnie , he thought he was fine, just bruises and shook up but the truck was totaled! Ronnie assured him that as long as HE was ok that was the important thing!
Shannon was checked over and was able to catch a ride home with Keith since they both were going to the same place. Shannon is a very good driver. We are so blessed to have him. The place they were going was on a county road and he got caught in a blinding rainstorm on a very curvy road. When the truck got off on the soft shoulder that was it! Thankfully noone else was involved and he was not hurt! Needless to say we did not bother with any Christmas lights on this day! We would be on our way to Alabama before night fall.
On to see Doctor Bill...got my shots then he comes in to see Ronnie... he tells us in a quite manner of fact manner, the lesions on his spine or either a metastasis from a possible cancer in his colon or could be bone cancer! He made arrangements for yet more tests... we left the office very shell shocked.. only to get a few miles on 175 to run out of gas!! GMC has had thousands of complaints with the gas gauges on their vehicles that quit working but they will not acknowledge it with a recall. So we set the trip to keep up with it..don't know what happened this day except satan was out to get us any way possible! The place it quit was in construction so we had to pull over right by the guard rail. I think poor Ronnie without thinking just got out and started walking towards the next exit! The traffic was zooming by seemingly at 100 miles per hour! I called 911 and they sent a kind deputy who was sympathetic towards a crying grandma with her 6 month old grandson in the back seat. I was terrified someone would hit us! Had I been in there alone I would have been ok but with the way our day was going I was not going to take any chances with my grandson! He pushed us up and off the road with his bumper and then thankfully a very nice person brought us some gas so we continued to Dublin. so we could pack clothes for the trip to Alabama and drop the baby off at the daycare. I knew he was in good hands but it was still very hard to know he would be coming here everyday now instead of our house! In spite of all that had gone wrong that day, a lot had gone right. God always makes provisions for His own!What satan intends for bad, God turns to good!
His last run before retirement! August 2010
Ronnie is a owner operator , pulls containers out of Savannah. I went with him on his last run before his "retirement" .. I knew then he was sick just thought the diabetes and hypertension and fatigue were taking their toll! Back to the trip..he has a load going to Ft. Smith Ark so he wanted me to go with him and bribed me by taking me to Branson! So we went and spent a lot of time talking over those long miles. We were exhausted when we got to Ft. Smith! We had only been asleep a few hours when it was time to get up! We did the necessary things of dropping the trailer and managed to get a rental car...off we went to Branson! We were exhausted by the time we got there so we plopped on our bed and took a long nap! We woke up in time to catch a very good show and have dinner after..it was great!! Next morning back to Ft Smith... and oh I met a very sweet person at the show and now have a new Facebook pal who lives in Mo!! The traffic was horrific in Branson, I do not recommend going and coming in the manner we did.. might also be better to have a room int he middle of the action so you can walk!
We went back, picked up our trailer and headed towards home! A long ride but riding in a big truck is not as exhausting as a car because you have more room to stretch your legs! I was sooo glad to get home. I am a homebody but he loves the road! This was the hardest thing for him to do knowing how much he loves his occupation! I guess everyone needs to love what they do to make a living!
He was a bit restless being at home but at the same time knew he did not feel up to par. Baby Carson helped us ease the pain. We enjoyed our short time with him before it became clear we could not keep him either. Ronnie's energy was waning and he began having more unexplained pain but shrugged it off . I was having a time with my knees so we began making weekly trips to Macon to get shots in both of my knees.
On the second trip I woke up, could hardly walk and Ronnie wasn't feeling well either... it was pretty clear to both of us, as much as we loved baby Carson and wanted to help since his mom went back to work, we were going to have to tell his parents we could no longer do it. He will probably be our last grand baby so this was not an easy choice to make... we were hoping he could be a little older before he began daycare!
We went back, picked up our trailer and headed towards home! A long ride but riding in a big truck is not as exhausting as a car because you have more room to stretch your legs! I was sooo glad to get home. I am a homebody but he loves the road! This was the hardest thing for him to do knowing how much he loves his occupation! I guess everyone needs to love what they do to make a living!
He was a bit restless being at home but at the same time knew he did not feel up to par. Baby Carson helped us ease the pain. We enjoyed our short time with him before it became clear we could not keep him either. Ronnie's energy was waning and he began having more unexplained pain but shrugged it off . I was having a time with my knees so we began making weekly trips to Macon to get shots in both of my knees.
On the second trip I woke up, could hardly walk and Ronnie wasn't feeling well either... it was pretty clear to both of us, as much as we loved baby Carson and wanted to help since his mom went back to work, we were going to have to tell his parents we could no longer do it. He will probably be our last grand baby so this was not an easy choice to make... we were hoping he could be a little older before he began daycare!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)